It had been three days. The longest three days of my life. I’ve forgotten what a breeze on your neck feels like; I’ve not seen natural daylight and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. I see life beyond my bedroom window: People enjoying their meals, actually talking to each other and enjoying the sounds of the busker playing softly nearby. Don’t these people realise how lucky they are? I will never take the luxury of being able to walk outside for granted ever again.
I’ve never been cooped up in my apartment for three days straight. Never. Not even the time I was sick stopped me from going to Open Mic night at the Bar. People have noticed my absence, I’ve had texts, emails from friends wondering why I’ve dropped off the face off the earth. They think I have flu. I don’t know what they would think if they knew the reality was:
Smells that no little guy should be capable of producing:
Toxic waste removal. Shame Alicia forgot to mention the Kid isn’t potty trained.
Followed by more tantrums:
This time of the adult variety. The Kid doesn’t speak much English and I don’t speak baby babble but we are trying to get along. Luckily he doesn’t ask about his Mum often. I wouldn’t know what to tell him. I don’t know much about two-year olds but I know even he wouldn’t understand the concept of “three months” So I say nothing. Alicia emails regularly and has promised to write and send postcards to the Kid. I’m not sure why, it’s not like he can read. Whilst Alicia is off travelling the globe, performing on stage every night to sell out audiences, I’m researching toddler training. Kids should come with training manuals. “How to Raise a Toddler – The Dummy Edition” How the mighty have fallen.
Before she left, Alicia came round with all of the Kid’s things and before you know it my apartment looked like a day care. She writes that “she hopes he is making himself at home with his Daddy”
Sure Alicia, if by “making himself at home” you mean trashing the place. Absolutely!
And that face the Kid pulls when I tell him no:
He gets it from his Mother. Clearly. As I said its been three, long, dark days. Seventy two hours with the smelliest, noisiest, naughtiest kid ever.
In my apartment.
And just when I thought things were bad..
My phone beeped impatiently that evening. Reaching for it quickly I picked it up and glanced at the screen hoping it hadn’t woken the Kid.
I will be popping by tomorrow morning first thing to see you. Urgent matter to discuss. Mum